The creaking deck gently sways beneath my feet as I look across theflat
ocean towards
the distant
horizon, my weary eyes straining to see what lies upon yon unseen shore.
The
wind has lost
it’s breath and our vessel, aye, the very sea, have no life. Canvas skin
hangs
limp from the
broad shoulders of towering trees that be masts, thick needles of wood
pointing towards
the bright, cloudless sky. The sun seems to stand still, yet ever moves
on
its endless
trek across the sparkling blue heavens.
A casual yawn escapes my lips as I lean back, stretching my arms and looking
about
the quiet ship.
Bored seamen loiter about, tying ropes, mending worn sails, mindless
ants filling
the monotony with their tasks repeated yet another time this lazy day.
I
miss their coarse
laughter, vulgar oaths, ribald songs of treasure, wenching and rum. The
doldrums they
call it - no wind, calm seas, birdless skies. The passing of the hours
ceases
to stir any
interest, as time, a fickle mistress at best, mocks the dulled spirits
languishing
in her selfish
embrace.
As far as one can see in any direction is only empty, blue sea -empty and
quiet. Not a single
wave beckons
the eager eye. No landmark, wayfaring bird, or foraging denizen of the
deep
disturbs the
glassy surface. Even the sight of another vessel lost in the quiet, watery
void
would encourage
our low spirits and relieve the shroud of dejection hanging over the
ship. I have
experienced this natural phenomenon before, yet it befuddles my mind still.
I
am eager to
put into port and feel solid ground beneath my feet once more.
Though not a sailor, I have often wandered the oceans in quest of securing
my fortune
in some new
and faraway land. But success often eludes my grasp and I must search for
more fertile
opportunities. However, with each new harvest consumed by drought
I am
forced to move
on once again. My feet tire of seeking new roads and my heart yearns for
a home to call
my own, land on which to raise my sons. Home for me has been an
everchanging
condition and I know not where I may lay my head on the morrow.
Again I turn to face the sea, rubbing my rough, unshaven face, my thick
forearms resting
upon the smooth
hewn wooden railing. Always it is the same, the water, and yet often
changing. Such
is a man’s life, never seeming to waver, but different than the years
trailing behind
him. We hunger to resist change, yet it is part of our nature. Growth demands
it. Without
it we would die. One cannot always be a towering oak flaunting strength
and
prosperity.
Still we must bow our spirits to the breath of Fate.
Though my sour fortune can be a painful burden upon my shoulders, in my
soul a bright
flame of hope
ever flickers, urging me onward, driving me to anxiously greet each new
day’s
sunrise with
expectation and awe. With every dawn my strength is renewed, my spirit
reborn
in the glorious
majesty of heaven’s holy light. I be a dreamer, a wonderer, a questing
vagabond.
I be not a religious
man, yet to experience the wonder of creation is to drink deeply from
nature’s holy
grail of divine splendor.
In times like these I remember the past and in its memory contemplate what
is yet to come.
I be the stray
wolf, the whelp that suckled longest at its mother’s breast. I be the one
last to
be weaned, the
one to linger, the one, the last to find his path. I be fortune’s bastard
child, the forgotten
brother of the twins, Romulus and Remus. In their shadow I stand, unseen,
unnoticed beside the chronicles of their accomplishments. Fathers of kings
they be, founders of empires. And I be a blind beggar wandering aimlessly
through the back alleys of their worlds.
I remember our sire. He was a man of strength, of solid character, not
a rich man but an able
one, a man who
provided for his own. He sacrificed himself in defense of his family, weapon
in
hand, honor
in the deed of his life. To me, his firstborn, he bequest his name, yet
my siblings
more than I
be born of his mold. They walk in his footsteps while I be an autumn leaf
tossed
about by the
wind. Upon the foundation of his life the hands of my brethren erect pillars
of
strength, while
my wandering feet leave behind rocky trails of forsaken dreams. If his
eyes
could gaze upon
me now, what words would he have for my foolish life?
My melancholy is stirred by a heavy sigh and my mind turns to consider
my presence upon
this vessel.
In my tiny cabin lay my blade, my instrument for giving me life, this razor-sharp
messenger of death. Daily do I spend time fingering its long, keen
blade, caressing its
thick, heavy
handle. Most prefer a grip light and balanced but such is not for me. Nay,
give
my hand a crushing
wand that may bludgeon a man’s head as well as possessing teeth to
savagely slash
a body’s mortal flesh. Often has it been the means of delivering many a
soul
onto the last
voyage across the cold, dark face of bloody Styx.
Though rough and hard, my sensitive fingers daily apply a thin layer of
clear, yellowish oil
to my deadly
sword with the tenderness of a mother caring for the waif of her lost beloved’s
loins. Gladly
does its smooth skin drink the bitter nectar that cleanses it from life’s
cruel
ravages. Upon
the conclusion of this devoted service I take a light cloth in hand and
gently
wipe the remnants
of the excess potion from the glistening metal. From thence, on the empty
afterdeck, my skilled arm ever practices its warrior art, relishing some
activity to calm the fires
of discontent
that boil in my soul’s passionate cauldron.
Shaking my head, I clear my mind, turning my sight outward from the turmoil
residing
within me to
the lonely blue lying before my eyes, seeing once again the never ending
waters stretching
beyond the distant horizon. I look down into the smooth surface below
me and wonder
what others have wandered upon this unmarked trail to distant, exotic
ports and beckoning
homes. And how many souls have left their cold, white flesh lying in
the murky depths?
In silent reverence my spirit salutes those who may lie below, bidding
them an unspoken
prayer for good fortune in the arms of eternity. Death humbles even
the greatest
of men.